Poor Joe Biden. Had he the courage to have stood up to Madam Cankles, there's a good chance he'd be president. Instead, he's meandering through the cloudy halls of his mind, bumping into the walls. Reminding people he used to be vice president. Also, offering unwanted back massages to middle-aged women. He's probably asked a few people to pull his finger too. Somewhere an old people's home is missing its resident pervert.

Biden recently spoke out about guns. He should've speared peanut butter on his face.

"This was totally, thoroughly spontaneously on the part of the students, there was no adult inspiration for this."

That's a bunch of malarky (see Report: Parkland Teens Being Organized by EVERY Liberal Interest Group and Cast of ‘Modern Family’ Makes Stupid Video Promoting ‘March for Our Lives’). But that's not even the Bideny thing he said.

This is where the full Biden was on display.

"I think the Second Amendment is being badly interpreted; it's not consistent with what our founders intended. What's happened here is the nation as a whole has decided it can no longer, in my view, continue to turn a blind eye to the prostitution of the Second Amendment here and can no longer turn a blind eye to the enormous damage being done not just in our schools but on our streets."

Sorry, Joe. If we're having a smarts contest, I'll put my money on the Founders. Though to be fair, I'd totally bet on you in a who can eat the most cups of tapioca contest. Biden would probably look fabulous doing so. Winner gets a walker, complete with tennis balls. I can already smell the Bengay.

To go full macro point on you for a second, the Second Amendment was written to protect Americans from dentures models like smacks Biden here. I get that some people don't like guns. That's fair. They're loud. Some of them are black. All of them are kinda heavy. Which makes them hard to handle for the noodle-wristed among us. But we have a right to keep and bear them. Even if people like Biden think the best kind of weapon is an unloaded one. Just like we can't limit what Joe says because of the First Amendment.

Now set aside fifty-four seconds for a debunking of everything else Tiger Balm Biden said.

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