Most of us are fairly decent at separating the art from the artist. Jennifer Lawrence tests my patience like Amy Schumer tests for STDs. I generally enjoy Lawrence as an actress. X:Men First Class and Days of Future Past are both the best in the comic genre. Like Crazy is highly underrated. Even those archery movies she does are fun.
Then she opens her face hole about politics (see Jennifer Lawrence Tries To Troll Trump. Looks Stupid Instead… and Jennifer Lawrence’s Asinine Statement On ‘Republicans.’ Why It’s Idiotic…). I’m not offended by her having a stupid political opinion. She’s a Hollywood actress. It’s assumed. Practically a requirement. But her political opinions are so unoriginal, her entire life could be a film. Where the girl gets the guy. Or the villains suck at shooting. Bombs with convenient timers.
O: Have you met Trump?
KATNISS: No, never.
O: Do you want to?
KATNISS: I think so. I’ve got a pretty good speech. And it ends with a martini to the face. (Laughter.) I have something to say for all of them. I watch different characters on the news, and I’m like, “You just wait.”
First, Secret Service would have you down faster than you ditched Gale for Peeta.
More importantly, a martini to the face? That’s the best you can come up with? That’s more cliche than the movie mother!. Though, less of a waste of $15. Let’s be honest, J-Law’s drinking a cosmo or an appletini if anything. Yeah, they are in the martini family of drinks. But let’s not pretend to be James Bond. JLaw is stirred.
O: If that moment comes, you would be prepared?
WHATSHERFACE FROM SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK: Oh, I would, definitely. Oh, my God, I’ve been waiting for this moment. I’ll give you a hint — it’s not nice. You wouldn’t want me to say it to you.
So, you’d curse at him? Call his skin orange? Yell about the tax plan even though you don’t understand any of it? Wear a pussy hat?
J-Law is a special brand of unoriginal. Like if Alec Baldwin and Jane Fonda had a baby, home-schooled her, sent her to a liberal arts college. Got her a job on Hillary’s first failed presidential campaign and then again on Hillary’s second failed presidential campaign. Forced her to watch MSNBC with her eyelids open ala A Clockwork Orange. And for the coup de grace, locked her in padded cell while Matt Damon narrated Vox think pieces. While wearing a pantsuit. That’s JLaw.
I get 95% of Hollywood has a different political opinion than me. Or, a different political opinion than the Democrat PR firms who send their publicists talking points. Even that publicist lackey, though, has more original opinions about Trump than Jennifer Lawrence.
If you’re going to throw something at someone else’s face, think outside the martini glass. What’s so wrong with throwing a rubber ducky?