Courtney Kirchoff here. It's about time we were introduced. I've been lurking around Louderwithcrowder.com for over a year, but I've never come out to say "HELLO WORLD!" like the initial sample post of a generic WordPress blog. Sorry if that joke goes over your head. It'll kill with the web developers.

Maybe you clicked this post hoping to see me as Princess Leia in the gold bikini. I like you already. But no, sorry. Decency, modesty, some other words alluding to my alleged lady-like behavior. Alleged.

No, I don't think sharing that gif is sexist. There's nothing wrong with a woman tastefully showing off her hotness, or for a man to enjoy said hotness. Unless you're an unattractive feminist who has no hotness to share. In which case you're shaking your chubby fists at me a la the Trigglypuff, crying about "objectification!" Hey, you need the exercise.

Here's why I'm a "real" feminist -- a feminist who believes in equality. Not to be confused with SJW feminism "equality." A belief women are superior and men deserve to be crushed like an invasive species of snail.

What equality SHOULD mean.

Women are not better than men. Equality does not equal sameness. I prize masculinity as much as I prize femininity. If we celebrate women for being women, why not men for being men? I could go on drawing what seem to be OBVIOUS parallels, but we're crunched for time. Read Screw Off, Feminists: An Open Letter to Men from a Real Woman.

No, I don't think it's "empowering" for women kill their unborn babies then call it "choice." Just for the record.

Side note: I have it on good authority some ladies check out the men folk in lecherous ways. Then get "offended" when men return the favor. This goes to my above point. Don't lash out at men for behavior you exhibit. What's "equal" about that?

A conservative walks among the liberal masses...

I understand why people are liberal. But liberals do not understand why anyone, like me, is conservative. At best, they have a huge fundamental misunderstanding of what conservatism is. They also never ask why a conservative believes what he or she believes, opting instead to dismiss or bash. In fact did you know liberals are more likely to unfriend someone online, or offline, if they're conservative? Tolerance?

Allow me a moment to trip down memory lane. I promise there's a point. I'm a Millennial, but my life does not reflect the stereotypical Millennial experience. I grew up with a mom and dad. My mother stayed home with us. We were not shipped off to daycare. My parents took an active involvement in our education.

Many Millennials didn't grow up the way I did. In fact if you're a Millennial, you may be the product of divorce, daycare, step-parents, public education, and most importantly, cradle-to-grave liberalism (from teachers, curriculum, the media). Woohoo.

Which means Millennials are liberal for a simple reason: they've never been exposed to anything else (read Dear Millennials: Your Love of Socialism Could be America's Downfall...). So when they see conservatism, they shrink from it. Like Dracula shrinks from sparkling Edward Cullen. Or Lena Dunham shrinks from shampoo. Ew, hygiene!

People who've never seen conservatism assume conservatives are racists, bigots, sexist, homophobic turds unworthy of life. That we're heartless, greedy heathens who hate everyone. A stereotype spread by teachers, media, books, and other liberals. Being the gullible people they are, liberals never question. They go on assuming everything they've been spoon-fed. While claiming to care more than anyone.

The truth is much different.

Liberalism vs. Conservatism

Liberalism assumes people cannot care for themselves. From Obama to Bernie Sanders, the liberal message is the same: you need us to make life fairer for you.

Examples: social security assumes people will not save for retirement. Welfare assumes people cannot feed themselves, or that individuals will limit their charity to people in need (read Dear Liberals: Your Cult-like Faith in Government is Disturbing...)

Liberalism distrusts humanity, placing trust in bureaucracy instead. If someone wants to explain to me how that's "big-hearted" and "caring," I'm all ears.

Conversely, conservatism believes individuals are responsible for themselves. Regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion. I'm free to make my own choices, and will either reap the rewards of those choices, or pay the consequences.

Liberalism assumes the worst of people.

Liberalism neuters people. It beats down, punishes success, elevates mediocrity. Think back to famous liberal words: "You didn't build that," "The rich should pay their fair share," "Free education for all" (because you're too weak to pay for it yourself); liberalism devalues human beings. It removes the desire to thrive.

It's also easy to be liberal. All one needs is to "care." Say you care and you're a gold star liberal (read Dear Liberals: If You Actually Cared About People, You Wouldn't Be Liberal...). That caring, by the way? It assumes the form of a government program, funded by tax-dollars taken from people who actually work. So rather than a liberal caring for someone with their own time and money, they vote for a politician who makes promises. Liberalism is lazy. It's caring by filling in a candidate's box once every two years.

As a conservative, I believe people are not only capable of taking care of themselves, but they're happier for it. Yes, even men who vote Bernie Sanders. Don't let any politician act for, or "save" you. A great many of Sanders-supporting men are far more capable than they know. I've met Sanders-supporting men. It breaks my heart to see so many believe they're incapable of pursuing their dreams.

Conservatives think critically.

Conservatism requires thinking beyond the gut reaction. It asks "will it work?" instead of "does it feel good?" It questions government motives, it questions government effectiveness. Does that program actually help people? I award you no points if you claim to "care" but do nothing with that empathy other than expressing it.

I'm a conservative because I trust myself more than elected strangers who read off a TelePrompter. I trust myself to do what's right for me, right for my friends and family, more than I trust a politician making promises he'll never keep.

I'm a conservative because I believe in the power of individuals. Including you. I believe in intelligence, character, strength, endurance, ingenuity, creativity, philanthropy, kindness. Traits which can be possessed by individuals, not a collective of elected politicians.

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff