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Hillary: 'Why aren't I 50 points ahead?!' So Many Reasons...

Team Crowder
September 22, 2016

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have stayed within a reasonable range of each other in the polls. Naturally, Hillary takes issue with this. And rightly so, might I add. If she's not wiping the floor with Trump, what did she sell her soul to Satan for? A measly six point lead? Clearly the anti-Trump hexes aren't working, so it's back to the drawing board bubbling cauldron. In her frustration she confronted her labor union cronies in a call to action.

Trigger warning: her pancake face and shrill voice is the stuff of nightmares.

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton asked why she is not way ahead of her Republican opponent Donald Trump on Wednesday in a video address to the Laborers' International Union of North America.

Clinton highlighted her support for raising the minimum wage, collective bargaining, and investing in infrastructure during her video message to the held in Las Vegas...

"Having said all of this, 'Why aren't I 50 points ahead?' you might ask?" Clinton said.

It's not because people love Trump so much. It's because they hate Hillary so much. Why? Firstly, her Royal Haggardness is a liar. She lied about her health, she lied about her emails, and she lied about Benghazi, just for starters. Many voters see Hillary Clinton as the poster child for political corruption (see Even Far Left Susan Sarandon: Hillary cannot be trusted). In fact, the number of her many lies are rivaled only by her face wrinkles. But there are still more lies. We counted.

Secondly, her policies look like they were born in the seventh layer of communist hell. Like Hillary herself (see Actually Hillary Clinton is More Like Hitler Than Donald Trump). Clinton wants to eliminate rights like the Second Amendment. Like it was but a confidentially marked email on her illegal server. She touts "diversity" while requiring everyone to conform to liberalism. And she simultaneously plans to tax people into financial sameness. Read: poverty. Equally poor. Hence her tax plan which punishes the successful. Even the dead. Yes. She has super high taxes on THE DEAD.

So Hillary sweetie, it's no surprise people don't like you. You've given us a plethora of reasons to despise your blackened heart. The real surprising part? That you're even garnering support at all. So count your blessings, Grandma. The FBI refused to go after you, despite loads of evidence. With your record unpopularity ratings why are you surprised you're not winning in a landslide? Or was there something secret on your email you haven't told us about?

Hillary Clinton thought she had this election in the bag. And to be fair, you would too if you had bought and crimed your way up to the top...

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