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Hillary Clinton Adviser Claims She Will Run For President in 2020

Corey Stallings
November 12, 2018

After Trumpkins' surprise victory in 2016, we all joined in a merry chorus of "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead." We veterans of the Great Meme War thought we had slain the pantsuited she-devil, once and for all.

Well, if you thought we'd seen the last of Hillary, think again. According to this Adviser, Hill is most definitely running in 2020.

Mark Penn, a pollster and senior adviser to former President Bill Clinton and ex-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton from 1995-2008, and Andrew Stein, a former Manhattan Democratic party figure and New York City Council president, wrote Sunday in a Wall Street Journal opinion piece that the 2016 Democratic presidential nominee would not let "two stunning defeats stand in the way of her claim to the White House."

"Mrs. Clinton has come unbound. She will not allow this humiliating loss at the hands of an amateur to end the story of her career," Penn and Stein wrote of President Trump, explaining how Clinton would re-package herself as a more liberal "Hillary Clinton 4.0." "You can expect her to run for president once again. Maybe not at first, when the legions of Senate Democrats make their announcements, but definitely by the time the primaries are in full swing."

Yes, the pits of Hell have opened and the Wicked Witch of the Left is loose once again. Be sure to keep a good supply of holy water and crucifixes on hand to repel the blood-sucking succubus, should you come face to face with her.

I guess that Clinton Foundation money is drying up fast. It's hard to sell favors when you're an unemployed psycho hose beast. This probably explains Hillary summoning her flying monkeys and saddling her broomstick once again.

The people have already rendered their verdict on "Chillary." We said no. Two times, in fact. You'd think Comrade Clinton would eventually take a hint and scurry off to the inter-dimensional hellscape from whence she came. Alas, Hillary is far too vain to accept defeat and move on. Which is why we're going to be seeing a lot more of her in the future. God help us all.

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