In case you haven’t already seen pitchforked protesters lining the streets, the FCC voted to repeal net neutrality today (see Yes! FCC May Kill Net Neutrality Regulations, Restore Freedom to Internet… and Net Neutrality Explained. Simply and Accurately!). What that means?
FCC Chairman Ajit Pai, Commissioner Michael O’Riely, and Commissioner Brendan Carr, all Republicans, supported the proposed rollback of the Obama-era rules. Democratic Commissioners Mignon Clyburn and Jessica Rosenworcel opposed the change.
As Pai was reading his statement in support of the trules change, he abruptly recessed the meeting due to a security threat, and the room was evacuated. A bomb-sniffing dog was brought in, and the meeting reconvened several minutes later.
Pai’s Restoring Internet Freedom order effectively reverses the net neutrality rules and classifies broadband Internet services as an information service under Title I of the Communications Act.
So there’s that. The vote will now go to the courts where it will likely be challenged to kingdom come. What all this really means, more importantly? Outrage, chaos, and fear mongering, oh my. And you thought things were already tense (see Net Neutrality Supporter Sends Death Threats to Republican Congressman). It’s about to get way more mentally unstable up in here. Release ze enraged internet trolls!
Here’s some of our top favorite reactions to the net neutrality vote. Good luck distinguishing satire from TOTES SRSNESS.
If you need to reach me and can no longer slide into my DMs for free because of #NetNeutrality being repealed, this is called a home phone land line. Get ready to use them again. pic.twitter.com/FNJURachvw
— Alex -Global TO & Emote- Jebailey (@CEOJebailey) December 14, 2017
CALL YOUR FUCKING REPS! I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF SOCIAL ANXIETY IS HOLDING YOU BACK!
I HAVE DEBILITATING SOCIAL ANXIETY AND I FUCKING DID IT. DO IT! YOU'RE GOING TO DO THIS, AND CAN DO THIS!
— ᴛᴏxɪɴ (@PsychoToxin88) December 14, 2017
Now that #NetNeutrality is gone, the cable guy can finally come into your house without a warrant, like the founders intended.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) December 14, 2017
Everyone who repealed #NetNeutrality your moms a hoe
— ツ (@BlvckGrip) December 14, 2017
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) December 14, 2017
And then there’s this gem…
— stop RT’ing Trump nickname list (@JerryDunleavy) December 14, 2017
Just remember, if you shed zero tears over the vote today that’s just because you’re not paying attention. And you hate the internet. And you want people to die. How dare you.
FYI, Jonah Goldberg, tweet above, is being satirical. Couldn’t tell, could you?