HERO: Nine-Year-Old Boy Reinstates Snowball Fights in Colorado Town
The word "hero" gets tossed around a bit much these days. But what else should we call a nine-year-old boy who just wanted good, clean snow fun? Dane Best learned snowball fights were banned in his town of Severance, Colorado. Even though he and his best mates frequently flouted the law without knowing it, Dane wanted to be on the up and up. So he did something about it.
Snowball fights are now legal for the first time in the town’s history, local officials believe. As the ban was introduced in 1920, it is almost a century old.
On Monday, the young politician gave his presentation to the Severance Town Board. "The children of Severance want the opportunity to have a snowball fight like the rest of the world," Best said during the speech, according to The Greeley Tribune. "The law was created many years ago. Today's kids need a reason to play outside."
Dane, you sir are a young god among man children.
Kids do need a reason to go outside. And what better reason than molding a perfect little frozen projectile to chuck at whomever you darn well please. So long as that person is voluntarily engaged in the battle.
Game respects game.
Although he faced difficult questions from the board—including: “Can we amend this ordinance to say that if you're over 60, no one can throw a snowball at you?"—officials were impressed with the boy’s performance and agreed to repeal the ban.
So see, the entire world hasn't gone to absolute cat pee. There is hope for our future. Dane Best from Severance, Colorado just singlehandedly restored my faith in humanity. Him, and all of us who spanked Slate for hating on dogs.
Just don't eat yellow snow, son. Ball it up and hurl it.