Seems these days if you're a woman who wants to pee with other woman, you may as well admit you enjoy finding used gum to chew. But only after you've dined on freshly boiled baby birds. Perhaps you play checkers with dog feces instead of plastic. Of all things, why would you want to pop a squat with people of your corresponding sex, you freak? North Carolina decided to protect such heathens from the tolerant, open-minded angels who think men should be allowed to drop deuces with women. One such organization who loathes the idea of separate bathrooms? The NCAA. They decided to boycott all of North Carolina, by relocating seven sports championships to states with Open Potties for All.

Well Kami Mueller, a.k.a. my new favorite person, had some thoughts. She's North Carolina's GOP spokeswoman, and all I have to say is: "Girl, never change."  Here's what she said in what some are calling a "defiant" statement. I call it a pile of awesome with a drizzling of Sriracha:

This is so absurd it’s almost comical. I genuinely look forward to the NCAA merging all men’s and women’s teams together as singular, unified, unisex teams. Under the NCAA’s logic, colleges should make cheerleaders and football players share bathrooms, showers and hotel rooms. This decision is an assault to female athletes across the nation. If you are unwilling to have women’s bathrooms and locker rooms, how do you have a women’s team?

I wish the NCAA was this concerned about the women who were raped at Baylor. Perhaps the NCAA should stop with their political peacocking — and instead focus their energies on making sure our nation’s collegiate athletes are safe, both on and off the field.

Yes, yes, more yes. If there are no differences in the genders, if gender is simply a "societal construct," why stop a pee-pee holes? Why not go "all in" as it were? MERGE ALL THE GENDERS! MERGE ALL THE THINGS!

Because yes, Mueller here? Great point. If it's wrong to separate men and women in the lavatory, why not just join the sports teams? If we're going for equality, why not make the teams equal? Why not do away with "men" and "women" for everything? It's what we've been saying all along! No one's watching women's basketball anyway. Sorry ladies, no. I'd frankly rather attend an insurance seminar taught by a blind donkey. At least the blind donkey is cute.

A second helping of heck yes.

Then Mueller comes in for dessert. If only the NCAA was so concerned about women raped at Baylor University. In other words, if only the NCAA cared where caring actually matters (read North Carolina Editorial Compares Little Girls Uncomfortable Around Trans-Penises to 'Racists"). Not so much in where we go poopy if we identify as a boy, a girl, or Mr. Your Guess is As Good as Mine. But where one spends the majority of their time. That is, not deciding to use a urinal or a regular toilet for number one.

Potty humor aside, the issue here isn't over who has stinkier turds. The issue here is mixing penises where there used to be only vaginas. What about rape culture? Seems a good place for a pervert to get raping or peeping is a girls' restroom. Read It'll Never Happen! 'Transgender' Publicly Molests Teenage Girl...

The sad part? The original article from which that brilliant rant is cited? Someone thought it came from a parody account. Why? Because it was so honest. It was unfiltered. And people wonder why we have Donald Trump.

Look, I'm going to say it for everyone: You got something honest and brilliant to say? Say it. Kami Mueller here was going to get backlash from the Tranny Toilet crowd if she'd used measured tones and words like "disagree" or "proclivity." Why not just come out swinging?

Stay hip out there, Kami. May your gumption inspire much, much more.

Want a guy like this in the ladies' room? I don't. Call me a transphobe all you want.

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