Remember when your liberal friends said, “Why are you against gay marriage, it won’t affect you?” or “Don’t be such a hater, transgendered people won’t change anything in your life.” Uh huh.
Well because biology is inherently unfair (because it makes us different) and gender is “fluid,” according to experts like Ruby Rose and Tilly the Teddy Bear, schools are moving away from such oppressive labels as “boys” and “girls.” So if you call your son a “boy,” you’re forcing gender pressures and stereotypes on him/it—you horrible human being, you. And if you call your daughter a “girl,” just think of all the labeling and body-shaming issues she/it might face later in life. Though, come to think of it, if she’s no longer considered a “girl” will she have to fight rape culture and free-bleeding…?
The Human Rights Campaign, the group with the equal sign bumper stickers seen on the rear of every Subaru Outback ever; in tandem, of course, with the COEXIST and CELEBRATE DIVERSITY (unless you’re conservative, or white, or a Christian baker or photographer, or identify with a gender that reflects your biology) bumper stickers, released a back to school guide which has such progressive suggestions as:
…when lining students up for lunch, rather than saying, “Girls line up first,” try saying, “Anyone wearing a green shirt can line up,” or “If your name has an ‘E’ please line up.”
Similarly, instead of addressing your class using “boys” and “girls,” try something new. Words like “friends,” “students” or “scholars” allow all students to feel included, expand student vocabulary and model inclusive language and behavior for other students and teachers.
Which also means you should stop referring to your group of friends as “guys,” even if they’re guys. Stop forcing people into a gender group, you narrow-minded ninnies.
Similarly, make sure that forms do not have specific spaces for “mother” and “father.” If a form requires the name(s) of legal caregivers(s), the form can just say “parent,” “guardian,” or “caregiver.”
If you consider yourself a “mother” or a “father” just remember that some “offspring” have gay parents who consider themselves to be the same gender, like two mommies or two daddies; some children may even have two transgendered parents, maybe one transgender man and one transgender woman? Also, polyamorism is all the rage, so maybe young Taylor or young Finn has three or four humans (“humans” is still okay to use, right?) who care for…for the…the…”offspring” isn’t going to work here. For the child. I guess we’ll still use “child” until the Human Rights Campaign comes up with a more tolerant term. Right, so if a child has multiple people caring for it, it’s discriminatory to leave space on a form for such terms like “mother” and “father.” We’re making progress, people. Progress.
This campaign of gender inclusivity (except if your backward kids like being boys or like being girls) is just one of many moves to blur the lines and make us all the same, androgynous automatons. Because if we’re all the same, then none of us can be racists. If we’re all the same, then we’re all equal, and no one will be better than anyone else! Yay for fairness and equality!
Next on the gender bending docket? Universal bathrooms, where you can pee standing up or sitting down, it’s all up to how you identify! Don’t worry, you people who consider yourselves to be ladies because you have female genitalia, I’m sure no man will take advantage of you if he wants to use your bathroom. Stop being such a hater.