Ever have one of those crises where you’re a grown-up who’s trying to make “adulting” a permanent habit? But, then something comes along that reawakens the immature six-year-old still living inside you? This is one of those times.
A prisoner developed an interesting methane-laced method for avoiding interrogations from the police.
A police interrogation of a Kansas City man charged with drug and gun offenses ended prematurely when an investigator was driven from the room by the suspect’s excessive flatulence.
A detective reported that when asked for his address, 24-year-old Sean Sykes Jr. “leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering.”
Sykes “continued to be flatulent” and the detective was forced to quickly end the interview.
My god, that’s brilliant.
This cheese-cutting genius has it all figured out. His pungent butt toots made it impossible for the fuzz to question him. Now, all he has to do is unleash his ass gas upon the courtroom. The toxic fumes will force everyone out of the room, making a trial impossible. The judge will have no choice but to throw the case out and set this gassy gentleman free. It’s perfect.
That is, unless the authorities concoct countermeasures to his crap-themed hijinks. Maybe gas masks for the jury members. A SWAT team armed with cans of Lysol. Or, perhaps a cork in Farty McGee’s hiney-hole.
This flatulent fellow joins a proud fraternity of poop-themed perpetrators, leaving behind odorous calling cards. Prompting us to wonder again if this butt bandit is acting alone, or a part of something bigger.
Thinking about the bigger picture, imagine the military and police applications for this man’s brown haze. Bottle his stink bombs in a grenade and you’d have the perfect tool for clearing out riots and enemy bunkers. Feed him beans and pump his rippers into an airtight room and you have a fast, effective execution method.
The applications are practically endless.