The ball will drop in hours. Everyone will make loud noises. You’ll wake up and try to remember where you left your pants. Time to start the new year! 2017 was even more 2017 than we thought it would be. It made 2016 look like 2015. But what about 2018? What will the next 365 have in store?
Here’s the Top 5 things to keep an eye on:
1. Look What You Made Nikki Haley Do – The hardest challenge for any leader is how they handle being on a larger stage. Not everyone can make the adjustment. Nikki Haley took her moment on the world’s stage and gave it two middle fingers. Before kicking it in the junk and nailing it with the Stone Cold Stunner. While shotgunning two beers on the way out. I don’t know if the rumors about Donald Trump replacing his current Secretary of State with the former Governor of South Carolina are true or not. I just know I want them to be. I’d also be ok with Trump/Haley 2020. No offense, Mike.
— Steven Crowder (@scrowder) December 26, 2017
2. Mr Smith Fondles Washington – Think Hollywood was rapey in 2017? Wait until #MeToo REALLY starts to expose Washington DC. If you know anyone, especially someone with lady parts, who works in politics, you know this to be true. It’s the only thing in politics that’s bi-partisan. Or in some cases, tri-partisan. 2017 saw a little of it: Al Franken, Blake Farenthold, John Conyers, California as a whole, etc. But the harassment scandals from our nation’s capital in 2018 are going to make the harassment scandals from Hollywood look like nothing more than drunken prom sex you aren’t proud of. Totally consensual, but you’d still rather not think about it.
3. Trump Went to Jared. And Ivanka – A combination of the Alabama Senate fiasco and this Vanity Fair article, I have the feeling Trump isn’t listening to Bannon as much anymore. That leaves his daughter Ivanka and his son-in-law Jared as his closest confidants who have his ear. For the life of me, I have no idea what that means for 2018. Is it something as simple as getting the president to understand his 35% approval rating isn’t fake news? That he should lay off Twitter and stop giving his enemies ammo? Maybe let everything he’s accomplished speak for itself without all the self-inflicted distractions? Or does Jarvanka pull him too far to the left? And we have Fox News trying to tell us that a pro-choice Supreme Court nominee is actually a good thing, because ZOMG HILLARY KILLED A GUY WITH THE DEEP STATE? Time will tell.
4. Owen Benjamin Lights the Way – I’m not just saying this because he’s our boy. I’m saying this because I know he isn’t the only comedian who is sick of the left. Even on the left they are sick of the left (see WATCH: ‘The Simpsons’ Hilariously Destroys College SJWs! and WATCH: Family Guy Brilliantly Mocks Liberal Outrage on Twitter). But the rub is a lot of entertainers feel like they need to work within the system. Owen in 2017, being forced to work outside of the system, has essentially created a whole new system for people to follow. He’s crowd sourcing On Demand specials and tours. Everyday he’s grinding away on YouTube. It’s possible to be both a successful comedian and honest with yourself. While also not dealing with the bulls***. Let Big Bear show you the way.
5. How Can the Left Top 2017’s Unhinged Stupidity? – Boys are really girls. Girls are really boys. Millions of people will die over a tax cut. Or the repeal of an Internet regulation. In 2017, the left rarely saw an opportunity for an in-kind contribution to Donald Trump’s re-election that they didn’t jump on like Tess Holiday at the state fair’s fried food pavilion. Hell, in the past few days alone, we’ve been told that farmers’ markets are racist sleeper cells, and had some fool yelled at a Donald Trump robot. You also had this tweet, which dollars to donuts is going to be a new leftist rallying cry in the midterms:
Listen. If we don't want to be a serious people any more let's just have that conversation & give our global superpower status to someone else. This is getting embarrassing.
"Pawternity leave." For fuck's sake. https://t.co/pzeIAe0zBW
— Omri Ceren (@omriceren) December 26, 2017
How can leftists possible top the record breaking levels of insanity they reach in 2017? Actually, hit us up in the comment section. Let’s see what sarcastic ideas you guys can come up with. We’ll check them off the list as the left actually does some of this crap.
Also, not to sound self-serving, but obviously Louder with Crowder is something to watch for in the new year. We’ve had YUGE growth this year, and it’s because of our loyal readers and #MugClub members like y’all.
So as the boss says, hold on to you butts!