SUCK IT, PETA: Firefighters Rescue Piglets from Fire... Eat Them Six Months Later
We interrupt your depressing news feed to bring you a vat of deliciousness (see LOL! Leftists Turning to Professional Cuddlers to Cope With Trump… and LOL: Lady Gaga Accidentally Defends Trump’s Military Transgender Ban…). Meat is the solution for any problem. After all, bacon is proof God loves us.
So it was written.
Here's what happened: pre-bacon piglets rescued by firefighters were later consumed by said firefighters. That, Simba, is the circle of life:
The 18 piglets and two sows survived the fire in Wiltshire in February, which saw 60 tonnes of hay catch fire.
In a controversial move, farm manager Rachel Rivers thanked the Pewsey fire team by giving them sausages.
She said: "I'm sure vegetarians will hate this." The firefighters however said the bangers were "fantastic".
Farm fresh piglet stomachs are delish. Even yummier if you chew them while taking selfies and tagging PETA on the Insta. If you were looking for things to do today.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) said the piglets were "no better off" for escaping the fire.
The animals were given a six-month stay of execution when they were rescued from the farm at Milton Lilbourne.
"I gave those animals the best quality of life I could ever give until the time they go to slaughter and they go into the food chain," she said.
The delighted firefighters said the sausages were "highly recommended" and thanked the farmer "for her generosity".
"We can tell no porkies, the sausages were fantastic," a spokesman said on Tuesday.
Couldn't have written a happier ending myself. Pigs are raised for meat. So these firefighters who saved these pigs helped curb world hunger. Had the pigs expired in a fiery blaze, without being consumed, their delicious meat wouldn't have been enjoyed by others. Including the people who saved them.
This is a giant middle finger to PETA, which is one reason we like this story. We also enjoy this story because we enjoy bacon, sausage, pork chops, pork tenderloin, and all other cuts of pork best consumed by humans. With or without maple syrup, pineapple, or a simple slathering of butter.
Pigs are raised to feed human beings. These pigs fed human beings. Amen.
Let this video segue be in no way related to the subject matter discussed in the post above. Stop it.
~Co-written by Courtney Kirchoff and Nichole Cooper