I'm going to be straight up front. At first, I thought this was a parody. A dude - with a mustache - claiming to identify as a woman and running on the girl's track team? This had to be schtick. And I apologize ahead of time if it was and everyone other site got fooled too.

But... just watch this video.

Andraya is a transgender woman who was running for the girls' track team on Wednesday, racing other female athletes from Portland and Old Saybrook. After telling her father, Rahsaan Yearwood, and mother, Ngozi Nnaji, in middle school that she identified as a female, Andraya, 15, was getting the chance she wanted.

Alternate theory: Andraya wasn't fast enough for the boys' team and wanted to win. He declares himself a shemale, tells mommy and daddy who also want trophies on their mantle, and they allow him to do it while proclaiming themselves the most progressive couple on the block. Win-win-win. Except for the actual girls on the actual girls' team.

With family, friends and teammates cheering her on at her first high school track meet, Andraya won the girls 100- and 200-meter dashes, and helped her 4x100-meter relay team take second place. She ran 11.99 seconds in the 100 and 26.34 in the 200.

"I do hope I inspire people, but not only with track," Andraya said Wednesday. "I hope it inspires people to not hold yourself back just because you're scared of it or it is your first time doing it, or because of other people's negativity.

"Other people's negativity." Interesting. Like maybe girls who think a boy on their team is cheating to the testosterone degree. Because it's cheating to the testosterone degree. A kind of cheating which will eventually lead to the end of women's sports. Thanks, feminists.

There's no (public) outrage yet from the actual girls he's stealing opportunities from (see Parents Outraged Over Transgender Track Star’s Unfair Advantage and “Male” Transgender Wrestler Steamrolls Competition. In Female Division).

But you can bet your box of tampons (that actual girls require every 24-28 days) there's plenty of private outrage from biological girls who're getting their pretty little tushies beat by a tallywhacker equipped dingus. Andraya would probably just appropriate this outrage to PMS, as males are wont to do in the face of a girl who takes issue with (well anything). A concept Andraya, as a man, will never understand. Because he doesn't have biologically female parts or hormones. Because he's a boy, not a girl. That's not hate speech, it's reality. If you're triggered, go smack yourself with a stapler. Preferably red.

The trend of "transwomen" (MEN) commandeering women's sports will lead to the eventual demise of women's sports. To anyone out there who says "yeah, but women's sports are a joke," thanks for missing the point entirely. Find a stapler. Smack yourself with it. Women's sports are for women to play. Because women want to play sports.

Boys are not girls. Girls are not boys. Boys should not play girl's sports.

As for Andraya, you're not even trying. Crowder was a more convincing woman...

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