FBI Agent Accidentally Shot a Man after Break Dancing
Whoever said all FBI agents were black-suited tight asses? Not this guy. He was burning up the dance floor over the weekend when his weapon came free while cutting footloose. Hey, who among us hasn't been doing the Macarena when our government issued piece pops out to pop a cap in someone's knee? I'm sure it could happen to anyone.
An FBI agent is under investigation after he accidentally discharged his firearm as he performed a backflip at a Denver nightclub.
The off-duty agent was dancing when the handgun fell from his waistband holster. It fired as he went to pick it up, wounding another customer in the leg.
The man, who was not badly injured, was taken to a local hospital, a Denver police spokesman said.
You know the FBI agent is praying it's not an unarmed black man, who just wanted to cowboy up in a little hoedown cultural appropriation. Only to be capped by an overenthusiastic whitey doing the honky tonk.
Second, we're not sure if the FBI agent was trying to impress a chick. But if so, best he sticks with the Maverick and Goose option of serenading her with bad singing. Next time. It's an appropriate reference with the announcement Top Gun 2 is filming. Get caught up and be a real American.
To be fair, whatever holster model the FBI issued their agents, it probably wasn't designed to perform backflips. Or contain a man's inner dumbass. Design flaw.
There really is no moral to this story, other than when you're performing the history of dance, make sure your weapon is securely fastened. With your douche in the full, upright position. Lest you shoot an innocent bystander who was just watching a dingus show off.
Gun-safety means you use a gun safely. This includes not grabbing the trigger when you drop your gun in a public place. Though hopefully this won't inspire more dangerous versions of spin the bottle. A gun spinning on the dance floor might give people the wrong idea.