Senator Elizabeth Warren thinks Americans are dumb enough to believe people would have elected her president if she had a penis. Senator Ted Cruz wonders, "Are we sure about that?" Welcome to politics in 2022, where I had to google "Elizabeth Warren penis" to find the source material. Side note: "penis" is still funnier to say than any of the euphemisms for it.

The back story: NBC News correspondent Ali Vitali has a book coming out about why America hasn't elected a woman president yet. Elizabeth Warren, who failed at running for president in 2020, is quoted as saying after that year's Iowa Caucus, “Everyone comes up to me and says, ‘I would vote for you, if you had a penis.’”

You would have to be an idiot to believe that to be true, hence an NBC News correspondent putting it in his book. Sen. Cruz is skeptical.

"That story is a lie. Produce this fictional person ’cause this human being does not exist. That is not even 1/1024 true."

That's a reference to Warren lying about being Native American. Or, mostly lied. She is 1/1024 Native American, yet was forced to admit she misled and pretended to be a part of a marginalized class.

That brings us to Senator Cruz's second point:

"But number two: In today’s Democrat Party, how do we know she doesn’t?"

The junior senator from Texas has an unfortunate point. In a bygone era of 2020, we could be 99.8% sure Warren did not have a dingly dangling down there. But as her Democratic Party continues to erase women in favor of "birthing people" and "persons who menstruate," we have no way of knowing for sure, and also--and I can't stress this enough--we have no desire to know for sure.

But if Warren can get away with identifying as a Native American for as long as she did, who is to say Sen. Warren can't now identify as a penised individual?

I mean, science says so. But we're talking about politics.

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