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Elementary School Calls Police Over... Brownies Being 'Racist'?

Team Crowder
June 29, 2016

It's not often that you hear about the police being called in to elementary schools. It used to be a rarity, at least. Now in the year 2016, cops showing up to intimidate grade-schoolers happens on the regular (see Elementary School Calls Cops on Student... For Handing Out Bible Verses?!). This South Jersey school has made a habit out of it. The latest crisis requiring the presence of the police? It starts with a boy and brownies. Brownies as in the delicious pastry, brownies. As in the gooey chocolate treat. That kind of brownie. Warranted a police visit.

On June 16, police were called to an unlikely scene: an end-of-the-year class party at the William P. Tatem Elementary School in Collingswood. A third grader had made a comment about the brownies being served to the class. After another student exclaimed that the remark was "racist," the school called the Collingswood Police Department, according to the mother of the boy who made the comment.

Reminder, a third grader is about eight or nine years old. This is long before puberty. Third graders are still calling each other "stupid" and "poopface." They've not really moved onto more complicated slurs. Also, calling a brownie a brownie isn't racist. Or at least it wasn't. Yet here we are.

The increased police involvement follows a May 25 meeting... where school officials and police both said they were told to report to police any incidents that could be considered criminal, including anything "as minor as a simple name-calling incident that the school would typically handle internally." Superintendent Scott Oswald estimated that on some occasions over the last month, officers may have been called to as many as five incidents per day in the district of 1,875 students.

Probably for not calling a Ritz cracker a cracker though...wait, right?

These cops underwent vigorous training, and have been prepped for life or death situations. So they can show up to a school... To investigate "drama" between children. The drama being a one inch think chocolate pastry. Which happens to be brown. Because CHOCOLATE.

I'm sure it's very rewarding to end the day drawing up reports that include incidents such as, say... "suspicious note-passing activity." Or "food comparison to skin tone."

The heart of the issue with this story isn't just about the waste of police efforts. It's the fact that it's all in the name of political correctness. Even if the kid (a third grader. THIRD GRADE) did say something "racist," you don't get to call the cops over words. Even if they are mean and scary. Or reference sugar.

The crux herein is that the left wants to police words and thoughts (Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, Wants to Prosecute 'Anti-Islamic' Speech). Do you really need any more evidence? Calling the cops on a third-grader for a comment referencing a brownie? 20 years ago - hell, 10 years ago - a story like this would spark national outrage. Or get rejected by The Onion for being too unbelievable. Now? It's just another step in the crapstorm that is leftist "progress." We've said it before and we'll say it again: freedom of speech, and freedom in general, matters more than your feelings.

Also, I want brownies. Racism?

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