David Hogg Wants One 'Young Person' Advisor for Every Politician
By now, you're more than familiar with the sentient butt-nugget known as David Hogg. Little Dave is mostly known for his douchebaggish grandstanding remarks against boomstickery. Lately though, he's been shifting his focus toward the political system as a whole.
He has worries about this upcoming election being our last. So, he's proposing some changes which will spare the human race from Armageddon. Like every politician taking their cues from "young" people.
In the next 5 years, I envision having at least one young person for every Congressman and Senator in the United St… https://t.co/kVSESshW41— David Hogg (@David Hogg) 1533430893.0
Yes, above all else we have to make sure our government has the appropriate amount of representation for the Tide Pod demographic.
I can see it now. Every politician will have a designated non-binary genderqueer pre-teen person of color sitting in the corner. To tell the "less-enlightened" grown-ups when they're being a bunch of lame boomers. "I know we have like a Constitutionary parchment and all, but guns ain't woke. You need to be woker. It's time 2 say 'bye Felicia' to the Amendmentation with the guns."
"Out of touch" senior citizens will undoubtedly say the kiddos lack the necessary life experience to be shaping America's policies. Well, those crusty old farts know not of what they speak. True wisdom comes from knowing Taylor Swift's discography by heart. Through having witnessed the rise and fall of One Direction. By having over 1,000 followers on Snapchat.
All jokes aside, these are the same young people who are unable to tell the difference between snack foods and laundry detergent. Now, the chinless boy wonder is calling for those pod-eaters to be the key voices in our political process.
Say what you will about Davey Hogg, but you can always count on little David to further dumb down the world of political discourse.
Speaking of Hoggy: