The big news in outrage culture this week was Colin Kaepernick flipping a figurative bird to our national anthem. By ten yards. Which is still too far away for an accurate Colin Kaepernick pass. But hey, who doesn’t love a pick six? Those of us who don’t cheer on the Niners can at least appreciate how much Kaepernick sucks on the field. But when he came by the show, we learned he was a much more rounded individual than the one dimensional jerk we see on the sidelines. The fro helps.
Do not be confused with the freeze frame below. This is a TIME-CODED video of the full podcast. Why? Because caring. You don’t even have to fast-forward. Boom.
Throw him an afghan blanket.
See? Colin CARES. He cares about the kids, Pokemon GO and the holocaust museum. Plus afros. That’s how in touch he is with the African culture. Or is it “people of color” culture? Crap, it’s impossible to keep track these days.
So next time you see Colin protesting something national or United Statesy, give him a blanket. He likes blankets. They probably provide him with much needed security from scary things like defensive linemen. Corner backs. Or all the endorsements he used to have when he wasn’t so much of an on-field loser.
But hey, we can’t all be $19 million/year failures who bitch about a country that’s “unfair.” Some of us have to parody those losers.