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Clinton Tells Unemployed Coal Miners to Blame Job Loss on...Climate Change?!

Courtney Kirchoff
October 15, 2016

According to Bill Clinton, miners in West Virginia are mad because they blame global warming for losing their jobs. Who doesn't?

This revelation comes as Bill "campaigns" in "support" of his wife (see CLASSY: Bill Clinton Calls Trump Supporters ‘Rednecks’ and Bill Clinton Doubles Down, Reminds Voters How Much ObamaCare Sucks…).

“They believe climate change cost them all the coal jobs, and they think I sold them out after they voted for me twice, because I agree with it, too,” he said.

He then explained he went to West Virginia, knowing they were not going to win the state in the primary. Clinton wound up getting trounced there by Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.).

“She said, ‘We can’t win there in the primaries,’” he said. “I said, ‘no way.’ They–they’re mad at you for supporting the president. She said, ‘I want you to go anyways. I said, ‘good girl, I do too.’ And I went down there. So, all these guys were like, screaming at me, you know, outside and all that. I said, ‘Guys, you did real well when I was president, so, come inside, at least, and scream at me. We’ll talk about it.’”

Look, we're admittedly biased against the Clintons, as are most of you (possessing logic does that to a person). But I have to ask... Does ANYONE understand what the deuce he just said? Having to be married to the Wicked Witch of Wipe It With A Cloth Or Something might be taking its toll on Mr. Pantsuit here, but still. He would've made more sense had he first put seven marbles in his mouth and blown a raspberry on a consenting intern's tummy tum tum.

Here's my best guess at WTF: Hillary lost West Virginia to Bernie "Basement-Dwelling" Sanders. Partly because the Democrats have a war on coal. Which is hilarious, considering they're also in love (allegedly) with electric vehicles and stuff. Which use electricity. Powered by coal.

So actually the coal miners are not blaming global climate change of the hot hots on their job loss. They're blaming Democrats like Billary. Get it, "Billary"? It's like Brangalina but uglier. Less glam, more polyester. And rape coverups.

Aside from all the above, I would like to thank Bill for making a total horse's hindquarters of late. Either he's losing his marbles or he just doesn't give much of a crap anymore. Either way, thumbs up. For the cray-cray talk, not for the rape.

Also, blaming "climate change" for anything is a bunch of malarkey...

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