Even though they're allowed to get married and force Christian bakers to do their bidding, lovers of the peen think they're being oppressed. No other public figure fuels their fire like Mike Pence. Homo-Erectuses love to hate Mikey, so they're constantly plotting against him. For example, take this recent St. Patrick's Day parade in Savannah where, according to the gays, they completely "owned" Pence:

Yeah, those guys sure did get Pence. He looks like he's having a terrible time. Mikey thought he could roll into town and straighten up the fancy lads with electric shocks. He didn't expect an army of same-sex-loving warriors to push him back with a massive "talk to the hand."

Jokes aside, Mike looks like he didn't even notice. Even fellow gay, Chad Felix Greene, is calling bullhickey:

Right on, Chad.

The Alphabet Soup crowd is preoccupied with anti-gay boogeymen who mostly exist in their overactive imaginations. In reality, it's the LGBTers who are bullying bakers of cakes, women who want to tinkle in peace, and people who acknowledge basic biology. If they'd take a break from going for the gold in the Oppression Olympics, they'd realize they're the aggressors in this scenario.

The LGBTUVWXYZ crowd thinks they have a yuge victory on their hands. Which only makes sense if you're a paranoid man-loving tin-hatter who thinks Mike Pence is coming to confiscate your cutoffs and Mariah Carey CDs.

The reality is nobody, Mike Pence included, cares what the gays do.

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