Understatement of the year: leftists hate the boom sticks. Barry Big Ears used his pen to commission the CDC to research the health effects of firearm ownership. With the obvious intention of having guns declared a public health hazard. Because the children. But, unexpectedly, the CDC’s report is likely to create a pandemic of leftist butthurt. Dear liberals: prep thy safe spaces. Bring blankets.
Gun rights advocates have long defended their right to bear arms out of a need for self-defense. And now they have a new report from the Centers for Disease Control that says they make a darn good point.
The $10 million study commissioned by President Barack Obama as part of 23 executive orders he signed in January says “self-defense can be an important crime deterrent.”
…let’s pause here to reflect on that statement reached, funded via a commission of our “best and brightest.” “Self-defense can be an important crime deterrent.” In other news, if a football team wants to make the Superbowl, it needs to win the playoff games. Also, to prevent dehydration drink water. If your legs are tired from standing, find a chair. Sit in it.
“Studies that directly assessed the effect of actual defensive uses of guns (i.e., incidents in which a gun was ‘used’ by the crime victim in the sense of attacking or threatening an offender) have found consistently lower injury rates among gun-using crime victims compared with victims who used other self-protective strategies,” the CDC study revealed.
Shorter: people who can fire rapidly moving projectiles (usually brass encased) at their attackers have much better chance of living to their next birthday than those people who defend themselves using mainly spoons. Big sticks. Whistles. Hashtags. I could go on but why?
Because it’s fun, that’s why. Guns make better self-defense tools than a locked window. A barking pomeranian. Loud noises. Your mom. Your mom making loud noises.
Okay, that’s enough. If you want to defend yourself, even the CDC has conceded — probably regretfully — that a gun is the best choice. Do not use chalk dust. Belly button lint. A sweater made of cat hair. An empty box of thin mints. You want to defend yourself with a gun. Are we clear? Don’t make me come up with a list of other things you shouldn’t use to defend yourself. I have other things I must take care of.
Of course, liberals will never care about facts or saving lives. They cannot have you able to defend yourself and be, like, self-sufficient. Even though guns aren’t the sentient, baby-killing machines leftists make them out to be.
Hey, leftists have their own brand of common sense…