California: Man Tries 'Face-Down Meditation' in River. Drowns...
Mixing wilderness with leftist hippies keeps turning out badly (see Famous Anti-Meat Vegan Who Climbed Mt. Everest? Yep, She Died...). The earth doesn't take too kindly to their non-GMO ways. Seriously, guys, Mother Nature just isn't that into you. Take a hint.
Look at what happened to this guy when he zenned out in the river...
Sheriff's deputies are investigating a case of a man who drowned while apparently practicing a face-down meditation technique in a Northern California river, CBS Sacramento reports.
"There was nothing at the scene that led them to believe that it was suspicious," Nevada County Sheriff's Capt. Shannon Moon said.
The man's body was discovered by his friend. They were practicing the same meditation technique side by side.
Moon said the death was unlike any she's seen before. "Face-down meditation is the first one I've heard of in 27 years," Moon said. "Kind of blocking out the distractions of mindfulness in a face-down position under water."
There's two types of people in this scenario. People who meditate face down in rivers and people who want to live. I self-identify as the latter, so I can't even begin to understand what this guy was trying to achieve.
So did he reach nirvana? Unlikely. The bottom of a Northern California river, on the other hand? Definitely.
Of all the places that something like this could happen, it had to be the fiery pits of California (see Godspeed #Calexit! Leftists Demand California Secede After Hillary's Defeat...). The Golden State has an annual "Dumbass Ways to Die" quota to fill. Maybe this yogi heard his choices were either the river or taxes.
Now there's going to be some commenter who says "It's always sad when someone dies, how dare you make fun." I kindly invite these people to meditate in a river, face down.
California. It's the worst. Speaking of which...