Burger King is known for its creepy plastic king mascot, its subpar burgers, and now the bad actors in the following ad. With Net Neutrality back in America's vocabulary, Burger King thought it would capitalize by showing itself as an anti-capitalist internet food joint (see Ted Cruz Finishes Mark Hamill’s Jedi Training on Net Neutrality and Net Neutrality Supporter Sends Death Threats to Republican Congressman).

Which brings us to this.

Were you given the option of a chicken sandwich?

I don't want a chicken sandwich, I want a Whopper!

Indeed, all companies may want the same bandwidth/speed/versatility, but they cannot have it. Just as we all may want to drive Ferraris, but we all cannot afford it. Or we may all want to drive in the fast lane, but some of us are driving 18-wheelers and shouldn't ever be clogging up the fast lane with our slow-moving heft.

Each company pays for what it can afford and providers deliver service based on payment/demand to servers. But Net Neutrality would require providers give the same speed to EVERY site. Which isn't explained through a chicken sandwich and a Whopper. They are both equally small and unfilling.

Let's frame it another way.

If Burger King wanted to give an accurate representation of Net Neutrality, they would price all items on their menu the same, regardless of size or quantity. It's not so much food speed as it is value, demand, and competition. Wendy's, Carl's Jr., and the meat goo they call McDonald's all continually lower their prices to better values, attracting more customers. Neutrality would give the government the power to say, "Hey, all chicken sandwiches shall be $5.00, regardless of quality". What would self-righteous Burger King do then? Add even less real chicken to their chicken sandwiches = less quality internet.

College students strapped with debt who can't afford the $5.00 chicken? They go away, starve to death, and die in the school library. Along with the small companies who want a smaller-speed internet/bandwidth plan but have to pay the same (neutral) amount as all the big corporations.

Burger King missed the mark on this one. Just as they themselves haven't been missed. I forgot they still existed. Thus the desperate advertising plea on political issues.

Was the fast food discussion a little too fattening for you? Here are some other examples which don't clog your brain arteries.

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