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Hillary Clinton's Greatest Challenge? The NY Subway. Yeah, We Mock Her...

Brodigan
April 07, 2016

Hillary Clinton. She's just like you. She's especially just like you New Yorkers who use the subway every day to get, well...practically everywhere. That Hillary Clinton, is so down to earth, she's so humble it took an entourage to get her through a subway terminal. Apparently an entourage is what it takes these days when you're the world's smartest woman.

You would've thought Team Hillary would have rehearsed more. Watch...

Hillary Clinton is just your average person — she can’t get those flimsy New York subway cards to work.

The former secretary of state was campaigning in New York City on Thursday when she rode the subway, but things did not go as smoothly as she probably hoped: It took her five tries to get the card to register.

Clinton, however, was undeterred, and she eventually made it through the entrance.

Right, she's just like one of us. Except when she realizes she needs to be around other people. Get's harder to blend in. Or use standard, ordinary things the humans use. In fact what this was was a total system failure. Happens sometimes.

Pro-tip to Team Hillary: next time hit Cntl + Alt + Del

For someone who is supposed to be running away with a win in New York, she's not off to a great start. In fact if it hadn't been for everyone helping her figure out a subway card, she may not have been off at all. Just stuck there. Like an ant in a soap circle. Only a lot more entertaining.

Okay, sure, if you don't use the subway all the time, and you're a decrepit old person you'll get a pass on how not to use something as basic as a subway card. Even if  you have one spike-toed heel in a convalescent home. However, in Hillary's case, she's running for president. This woman right here, the smartest woman in the world, she couldn't get through a subway terminal without help on how to get through the subway terminal. Five times it took to get that thingamajig to work.

Next time just wipe it. With a cloth or something.

Sure, all leaders have people. They have an entourage. But mostly the entourage is there to provide advice. Security. Maybe a friendly nudge in the right direction. Prompt a name for that donor to the Clinton Foundation. It's probably Ahmed something or other. But for Hillary? Today it's helping use that little flashy thing that opens the subway terminal. Tomorrow it's unsticking the tennis ball of her walker. In two years it'll be how to use that pokey thing you and I often refer to as a "fork."

Oh and you feminists saying I'm mocking her because she's a woman? LOL at you. I'd lambaste Senile Sanders too. We just haven't see him encounter this level of difficulty at the subway. But if you all have video of him staring at one of those flat round things with 12 numbers around it, please send.

Second pro-tip to Hillary chaperones: maybe next time slide the cardy-thing for her. It's hard for some people. Like future world leader-hopefuls.

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