Few people have me reaching for the smelling salts more than Beto O'Rourke. That dude is such a snore-fest, we've kind of put a stop to Beto O'Rourke stories for fear of stifling your will to live. Dude is a drain on all things that make existence worth it, ya know? However, Beto O'Rourke just made up a new right or two: the right to live close to work and the right to live near the rich peeps. So I'm breaking my moratorium on Beto Bits just so I can slap this dipsh!t around. Come and join me for the fun.

None of that is how any of it works, dummy. Let me hit a few points as succinctly as I can, as my ears are already bleeding from having to listen to this troglodyte.

Americans have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not the right to live near anything, much less their work. Nor do they have the right to work, but that's a subject for another time.

Furthermore, not everyone wants to live near their place of business, including the people who own the business. These are not "rights" so much as they are personal choices, priorities or circumstances. Sometimes commuting is actually an elective choice, as the idea of living in the city where work happens stinks. When it's San Francisco, the stink is literal. It smells of homeless people's pungent caca poopy.

See, where one lives isn't a simple equation. There are a lot of factors involved, none of them having a smidgen to do with rights. Cost of living, supply and demand, lifestyle, and culture all factor into where a person lives. Not just "is it near the place where I work." Go ahead, ask a realtor you know if I'm right of if Beto is wrong.

As for the rich people forced to live with poor people... Try this: tell the middle class to live with the poor and see how that works out. All Beto is doing here is just pandering, knowing there are fewer rich than middle-class. Middle-class people living in their 3 bedrooms, 2 bath homes in the subdivision with sidewalks, don't want the people who can't afford to live in the subdivision living in the subdivision, any more than first-class fliers want to sit next to coach passengers. Is that a classist thing to say? So what if it is. If you're middle-class and you want to live where the poor people live, why aren't you? That's what I thought.

Also, and this is important so stay with me, if you're forcing someone (the rich, in this case) to do something for your "right" that's not a right. If something comes at the expense of someone else, it's not a right. But it is bullying, oppression, and/or being an all-around asshole.

Beto might be boring. But at least he's a boring asshole.

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