You guys, I'm just torn up about this next story. Torn. Up. After buying ten buckets from Amazon.com to contain all my tears, I'm here to tell you that, sadly, 14,000 poor, unfortunate souls at the IRS didn't show up to work this week. Frankly, I'm not really sure if I'll be able to manage the rest of the day. My heart is just breaking. From the Washington Post:

At least 14,000 unpaid workers in the Internal Revenue Service division that includes tax processing and call centers did not show up for work this week despite orders to do so, according to two House aides, posing a challenge to the Trump administration’s ability to minimize the damage from the government shutdown.

Love that WaPo equates 14k tax workers not being able to tax our work as "damage from the government shutdown." Fewer IRS people doing fewer IRS things goes right into my pro column.

The Trump administration ordered more than 30,000 employees back to work unpaid to prepare for tax filing season, which is set to begin next week. But of the 26,000 workers called back to the IRS division that includes the tax processing centers and call centers, about 9,000 workers could not be reached and about 5,000 more claimed a hardship exemption, IRS officials have told members of Congress, according to aides, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly about the numbers.

Casual reminder: Republicans in Congress have put up bills to pay workers during the shutdown. Guess who opposed them? Yep, the Democrats. See: Dan Crenshaw Talks Shutdown, Lectures Media for Anti-Christian Bias.

Well considering the IRS just takes -- TAKES -- what is the monetary equivalent of a brand new car from my salary every year, I just can't be sad for people who were asked to work without pay at the same agency which takes what is the monetary equivalent of a brand new car from my salary every year. You may say I'm heartless. I'm okay with that. Because when people run the numbers, those of us who work for a living and profit from it, end up working for the government for an insane fraction of the year. Because again, the IRS just TAKES IT. Related: California Democrats Worry New Taxes Might Cause Mass Exodus.

Okay fine, joking aside, these people who work at the IRS are working and also pay taxes. I get it. Seriously. But the IRS having a little struggle-fest of their own doesn't change my spitting hatred of the IRS and all the IRS does to me on a bi-monthly basis, then once a year when they ask me to bend over and take a little more rape for my country. Related: OPINION: Income Taxes Are the Real Rape Culture.

How much longer can we keep this government shutdown? It's kinda growing on me.

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