If this Beto O'Rourke ad was a dog, it would be a pug. So ugly it's cute. So bad it's good. Two eyes not looking in the same direction. A snout too short to properly breathe. Actually, I take it all back. If this Beto O'Rourke ad was a dog, you'd have to shave its butt and make it walk backward.

The "B-E-T-O" dance ad is this one: This New Beto O'Rourke Ad Needs to Be Seen to Be Believed. Again, so bad you may have to watch it three times just to revel in the awful. Like watching a dog vomit only to eat the vomit. Don't pretend you don't know exactly what I'm talking about.

Part of my thinks these ads will backfire. The other part of me which is writing about how funny these ads are recognizes my writing about them is only spreading them like a venereal disease. As the wizards of smart will tell you, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Historians may remember these Beto O'Rourke ads as either shifting that paradigm, or confirming it.

All I know is if I were Beto, I'd be embarrassed my name was slapped anywhere near this eye rape.

One wonders how many times the Cruz campaign has watched these same ads. One also wonders how many hospital visits the rewatching has inspired, due to cracked rib pandemics.

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