CRISIS AVERTED: Amy Schumer Drops Out of "Barbie" Movie
A lot of bad things have happened in the past few months. Terrorist attacks, starvation in Venezuela, and Amy Schumer being cast for the new Barbie movie, to name a few. Looks like at least one of those things will no longer be a source of nightmares, because Amy Schumer is dropping out of the Barbie movie...
Amy Schumer has dropped out of Sony's live-action "Barbie" due to scheduling conflicts, TheWrap has learned.
Hilary Winston came up with the story and wrote the screenplay, but Schumer and her sister recently rewrote the draft. However, Schumer is not writing another draft of the script due to her exit from the project.
Praise be to the heavens. We live to see another year without Amy Schumer playing out Barbie-themed vagina jokes.
Schumer's casting as Barbie sparked fat-shaming backlash following the announcement. "If Barbie became obese and heinous to men, Amy Schumer is perfect," tweeted one user, while another wrote, "Better lose a lot of weight for that role."
Firstly, observations aren't fat shaming. Let's be realistic here. Barbie is plastic. She has a tiny waist. There isn't a girdle in this solar system powerful enough to get Schumer's waist to Barbie level. If she were trying to stay true to the original character, she would have to cut back on the Big Macs. Because, no, size 18 doesn't exactly scream "Barbie."
Look, it's not just because she has love handles on top of her love handles. She's also gross. Nobody wants to see a kid's toy come to life in the form of Amy Schumer swinging her front udder around while wailing (whaling?) on about the patriarchy. And the next joke being about men going down on her. Or the scent of her p*ssy. Such things are not what Barbie dared utter to Ken. Not even Hijab Barbie. It seems whenever there's a camera rolling, Amy can't stop expletives from shooting out her squawk cannon. Not exactly kid friendly. Blessedly, the children no longer have to fear the live action monstrosity. Thanks, Amy. You did the right thing. Keep it up, girl.