CNN Wants You to Believe Chris Cuomo has Just Come out of Quarantine. This Timeline Proves Otherwise...

CNN thinks you're stupid. Like, really, really stupid. Not that the media coverage of the coronavirus has been that much better as a whole (see Hypocrite George Stephanopoulos Has COVID-19, Is Caught Not Quarantining and This Comedian's Analogy of How Bad CNN Sucks Is Delightful [VIDEO]). But for the network to air a segment of the "exact moment" Chris Cuomo emerged from his tomb, not unlike Jesus on ... I don't know, whatever day of Easter that Jesus did that, CNN must really think its audience are mouthbreathing numbskulls.

Like, dude, we know Fredo was out and about living his best-infected life. We know this from — wait for it — the media reporting it. Including Chris Cuomo himself. Here's a handy timeline.

Cable news sucks across the board. Yes, that includes conservative channels as well. As long as you don't rely on it for facts and view it as news-entertainment, you're better off just reading to know what's going on in the world. But even by CNN's usual carny standards, this is pretty unbelievable. Even by pro wrestling standards, CNN is ridiculous. A.J. Styles was recently buried alive by the Undertaker. When he eventually returns to television, he's going to have a more believable excuse for leaving his tomb.

Seriously, CNN. I know we don't always see eye to eye. I just didn't know you hated me this much.