Each day we overwhelm your brains with the content you've come to love from the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website.
But Facebook is...you know, Facebook. Their algorithm hides our ranting and raving as best it can. The best way to stick it to Zuckerface?
Sign up for the LWC News Blast! Get your favorite right-wing commentary delivered directly to your inbox!
#2A: Armed Robbers Hold Up Pizza Shop. Get DROPPED by Customer!
Robbers and pizza joints seem to be a recurring theme lately (see Extra Bullets Please? Robber Tries Knocking Over Pizza Hut. Gets Shot by Employee!). Perhaps the thiefing clods are attracted to the dough. Pizza joke. I apologize none.
But really, pizza and robbery? Not a good combo. Like pizza and an entire bottle of white wine. You'll likely end up on the floor dying. Take this example for instance: a couple of dudes decided to have robbery fun time at a pizza shop. Now one of them is pushing daisies. All because they wanted to be stealing turd mongrels...
Police said the customer shot both men after they allegedly pistol-whipped him.
"The two male robbers apparently told the employees and the customer to get on the ground. They began pistol-whipping the customer. At that point, the customer produced a handgun and shot both of the robbers," [The] Middletown police Chief said.
One of the robbery suspects was pronounced dead at the scene after being shot in the chest. The second was in serious condition after suffering injuries in the neck and shoulder.
Imagine standing in line for pizza with extra sausage when this happens. We'll assume the customer who shot the pistol-whipping dudes is a meat eater, because badassness. I doubt tofu and artichoke pizza fueled those lightning fast reflexes and quick draw skills. A common argument from the left is that restaurants are an inappropriate place for guns. But had this guy not been packing heat? There could have been a lot less pizza eating and more dead being.
We don't exactly know why armed robbers target the places they do. But what we do know? Having a gun increases your likelihood for not being slapped around by the butt of a robber's pistol.
Guns tend to help out in the self defense department. No word yet on why "people loving," "super duper caring" leftists hate people being able to defend themselves so much (see Leftist Logic: Women Cannot Have Guns for Self Defense, But You Should Have Free Birth Control).
Turns out law abiding citizens having access to guns makes even pizzerias safer places. Thanks, Second Amendment...